A Lesson in Fears

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Well now, I've posted up my story in Shadow Jedi Discussion but why not here in case some don't check that conference.....it's a bit long, but bear with me. The "Assignment" is near the bottom.


Back from my outing with a few friends to "Fire Island" (off of long island) I had an interesting and quite frightening experience.

Have any of you gone swimming in the ocean? I'm sure some have if you're on a coast. Well anyway, sometimes the tides get rough. They get all twisty and spinny (great vocab huh) and there is somewhat of an undertow. And so my friends and I were at the beach at Fire Island, and we decided to go for a nice lil' swim.

My friend who had the house there went in, got spun around, called it the "Washing Machine". So the rest of us went in. I didn't expect to get pulled under into one of those washing machine tides. But I did, and without a good breath.

To sound corny, I thought that it might be the End. But I said "I can't be. No. It can't end like this. I can't die like this." Sure, I probably make it out to be worse than it was, but you try getting tossed around the ocean without enough air, and coming up for one gasp, and then pulled back down with another wave spinning again. Luckily there was a break for me to try and sprint back to the shore...I don't know what would have happened if there was a third.

What's the point of my story? There are a few, but one main one that I am pointing out now. Fear. Dying without control over my time to leave is one of my biggest fears. On top of that it had to be drowning. I HATE the thought of drowning. It's one of the worst ways to go.

So, having come out of that with disbelief, I not only faced, but REALIZED that fear. I didn't think I could have been so scared of leaving in that way. Because I do like control up to a certain point. That's part of who I am.

Lesson in my scary encounter....know one of your biggest fears. If you dig around for that "why" a bit, it helps you find who you are.

If you don't mind, I'd like you all to think about what your fears are, and post them here. Write small ones, write large ones. Write them in your journal. Anywhere. And prod around for that 'why'.

Saidi Akili Maleah


I have a fear of pools. Not a big one. But I always get nervous when I'm in them. Especially around other people. This is partly because when I was little I was thrown around in the pool a lot. Partly because I'm not scared of much else and i think my mind kinda of needs "fears".

Jes Ree


No physical Fears. Those I have long since let go of.

I Do fear that there will be times when I will not be able to protect one person. She is the only one I have allowed myself to put even the will of the force before.

Other then that fear is left behind when you live for the will of the force and not for yourself.

If you can do that there is nothing to fear. Even death.

However for me personally, there are times when I will go against the will of the force. Things I put even higher then the great plan.

For me love is the only one. So therein lies my greatest fear.

May Peace and Love be with you,

Shinobi


I don't have any true physical fears. Things can scare me (like being in the ocean and stepping on a skate without seeing it, causing you to think "stingray" and jump...did that last week), but other than that some things can just make me a little nervous at times. As for not so physical fears, I have a few of those. I feel I am like you, Shinobi, on love, it is higher than whatever the force may guide me to. I would save someone I care about even if my instinct says that for my safety I need to go another way. As for other things, I seem to be afraid of letting my friends down. I get hurt more when I fail a friend than any other time, I think. And I have a fear that I might miss a chance to do something which would do something positive for someone and, because I don't do it, they give up or something like that.

Rogue Ace


Not wanting to sound blunt or anything but so? Personally I don\'t care what I sound like unless I am using they way people perceive me as a tool to get something done. In a lot of ways I may sound light, in a lot of ways I may sound dark. I\'m not going to not say something I believe in just because it sounds like something another denomination believe in. There will be overlaps in such broad a topics as the paths we have here and I dont rank being careful not to sound light very high on the priority list.

Take care and be mindful

Colin Waring

Tags: The Shadows Early Shadow Teachings

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